Become a Messenger of Happiness
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May 06, 2012 |
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What is Communication?
We can become a messenger to deliver happiness when we learn the communication skills that can be applied to our everyday lives. Communication here refers to the process of communicating information with words, in writings, or body language.
For proper communication, three factors are required. It should include following: contents of communication, which accounts for 7%; good method of communication, another 38%, and body language, which accounts for 55%. Here we can realize that body language revealed outwardly can influence the effectiveness of communication the most.
Of course, what we say is very important, but its synergy effect largely depends on our facial expression, attitude, and behavior. The synergy effect is low when people who are engaged in the communication have relationships that are defensive. On the other hand, the effect is high when they respect each other and are open-minded and close to each other.
Make a Habit of Receiving Stimulus and Reacting in a Positive Manner
 Communication is a chain formed with stimulus and reaction. When you speak, the contents, your tone, eye contact, facial expression, and attitude show your heart and personality. Your words, behavior, and attitude stimulate people in positive or negative ways. The reaction varies depending on whether the stimulus is positive or negative.
For example, if you think about something for a while and then speak bluntly with your arms crossed saying, "What time is it?" Then people might get a negative feeling from you and respond saying "Can't you see I'm busy? The clock is over there." But if you softly ask what time it is apologetically, people will try their best to help you even in a busy situation and answer, "It's about two. I want to help you more, but I am busy. I am sorry."
Those who have goodness and love that God wants don't have negative feelings. They can react with goodness and love even when people agitate them with negative stimuli. If you have a habit of speaking and acting as you please and as you feel, it becomes a deficiency of the body. Then, what do you have to do? You have to remember that communication is a chain of stimuli and reactions and try to feel good about everything and react in a good way. It's very important.
Open the Bank Account Named 'Feeling' and Save Happiness in It
 Conflicts, both big and small, are usually caused by the absence of effective communication or a series of minor misunderstandings. Just as you can open a bank account in a bank, you can open a bank account called 'feeling' when you meet people. Let's say, when you save positive things like trust or happiness in the account, the deposit is 'saved' in the account. When you accumulate negative things and unbelief, it becomes a debit that is 'withdrawn' from the account.
For smooth communication, you have to correct your habit of speaking your opinion carelessly after listening to others just once without careful attention. You must listen to others, understand what they mean, and ask them if there is doubt. You have to repeat it. After listening to them one more time, then you can speak. If you have negative feelings toward someone, you must try to pile up positive things and trust with hearts of goodness and love that God loves. You can give heart-warming words, actively listen, positively react, and keep promises. When you try hard to increase the amount of deposits in the bank account called 'feeling' by giving positive stimulus and reaction to all people you meet, you can become a wealthy man who 'saves' happiness.
TIP - Let's 'Save' Happiness by Listening Intently
Chinese word'敬聽'means 'to listen intently.' It indicates to listen to a person 14 times with a heart and ears of the king; to listen with the ears, eyes, and the heart; and it means to listen to a person until the end without interrupting in the middle.
Active listening includes not only listening attentively but also perceiving the speaker's intention, feeling, and situation with the heart. When you listen actively, you react so that speaker can feel you listen to him attentively.
For proper communication, it's good to raise questions, answer speaker's questions, respond with proper reaction, and make eye contact. Don't cross your arms over your chest or move and gesture uselessly. Pay attention to the speaker. Then, the atmosphere is more relaxed.
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