I've Been Healed of the Life-threatening Anorexia!
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 17918 |
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May 28, 2006 |
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 In-joo Choi (10th Grade, Eastern Kwangju Manmin Church)
Anorexia, one of the most common eating disorders today, is a disease in which a person refuses to consume food to a level that is considered clinically dangerous. The patient is diagnosed with anorexia when he or she has lost 20% or more of his or her weight without any organic reasons. Anorexia is often accompanied by a reckless effort to lose weight, amenorrhea, impotence, physical distortion, and a fear of obesity. It is common among women in their puberty and years immediately following the puberty. The degree of introversion, anxiety, and dependence in anorexia patients, who often also suffer from obsessive behavior, is higher than that of normal people.
Reckless dieting
During the third year of middle school, all the students had their pictures taken for the class yearbook. Because I was a little overweight, my face looked plump and not pretty at all. At the time, I was 158 centimeters (about 5 feet and 2 inches) tall, weighed 58 kilograms (about 128 pounds), and my friends often called me "Chubby." I wanted to show off a slender body to my friends and immediately went on a diet. I only had two spoons of rice, about 600 grams (about 1.3 pounds) of a variety of fruit, sweet potatoes, and tomatoes for each meal, and filled my hunger with water.
I stayed away from beef and snacks and overcame all kinds of temptations by thinking only of a slender and slim body I would soon have. I satisfied myself only with the smelling of delicious food. About three months later, people began telling me I looked great and asked me how I had lost all that weight.
As my weight decreased from 58 kilograms to 47 (103 pounds), to 43 (94 pounds), and then to 40 kilograms (88 pounds), I thought I should put an end to the dieting. As I had refused to eat with friends, I became alone at school. I also began spending more and more time, eating alone in my room at home.
At the threshold of death from anorexia
Although I wanted to stop dieting as I began feeling lonely and an overwhelming sense of emptiness, it was difficult to actually stop. As everything I thought about was losing weight, I didn't even like to hear my family and friends telling me, "Perhaps you should stop." With the passing of time, the thought of eating anything became even more distant and I began losing my appetite all the more rapidly. I also became cranky from the lack of sleep.
In December 2005, my weight was at 34 kilograms (75 pounds) and my body grew weaker and weaker. My reflection in the mirror was nothing but skin and bones and I had to wear layers of clothing to hide my body. I began to avoid coming in contact with others and coming out of my room altogether. At some point, going to school alone began to feel excruciatingly strenuous.
I did not allow anyone in my room. When my mother tried to undress me to see how I was, I would scream at her and become jittery. As my body lost weight so rapidly, I began feeling chills everyday and I had to carry around a small container of hot water to keep myself warm. I would collapse to my feet in the morning when I tried to get out of bed, when I tried to climb onto the bed at night, or when I tried to get on a bus.
I was seized with fear, 'I could die like this, and I could only go to hell if I died right now,' and spent much time crying by myself. All symptoms pointed towards anorexia that had resulted from my reckless effort of becoming thin.
 Encouraged by the love of brothers and sisters in Christ
I was attending Eastern Kwangju Manmin Church at the time and Pastor Yeon-ok Jung, and other Eastern Kwangju Manmin Church members decided to set a week apart for vowed worship service and set three days apart for fasting to pray for me.
I soon began to notice differences. Whenever my mother asked me to go with her and receive prayer from Senior Pastor Rev. Dr. Jaerock Lee, I used to become angry with her, saying "I'm no patient!" but now, I wanted to receive his prayer.
I also began repenting of not having been obedient to my parents, having gotten angry and hot-tempered with my friends and others, and having focused only on the outward appearance without circumcising my heart. My mother told me later that she had also repented of having disobeyed God's Word during this time, including not having always rejoiced, not having given thanks in everything, not having harbored her children in love, and not having been faithful.
Before the Friday All-night Service on January 13, 2006, I went before the Senior Pastor with an offering to receive his prayer. As he saw me so thin and so wan, he said, "What kept you this long until you came to see me?" As he placed his hand on my head and began praying for me, I could feel the indescribable love he had for souls.
Next day, I did not eat. My mother was so worried that she said, "Okay, you and I have to talk," and asked me to show her my body. The whole time I was on a diet, I had not allowed her to see my body and she had grown so anxious. Right at that moment, I could see how helpless my mother was. As I began telling her every piece and bit of my torment I had endured, we sobbed uncontrollably together.
 After receiving Rev. Dr. Jaerock Lee's prayer
I can still remember my mother's reaction upon seeing my body that had grown so thin. When I told her that I could feel the chills going out of my body and that my body began to heat up and sweat while I was receiving the Senior Pastor's prayer, she rejoiced and told me that I was already healed. I began eating rice gruel. I had no strength to eat a spoonful of the rice gruel by myself at first, so I ate little bits often. Yet, I still had difficulty in digesting.
After receiving the Senior Pastor's prayer the second time on January 20, I could get on the church van by myself without any difficulty. When I returned home, I began to eat more food and I could also digest food better.
When the Senior Pastor prayed for me the third time on January 27, he said, "May she digest well, become healthy, and become even healthier than before!" I felt peace in my heart. On the way back to Kwangju after the Friday All-night Prayer Service, we stopped at a service area on the highway and I wanted to have some soup they had there. As I put the soup in my mouth, I told myself, "It's a miracle! It's a miracle!" I could taste the food for the first time in nearly six months.
 I have become whole as my body and heart are so pretty!
Even though eating is a natural part of man's everyday life, I could not familiarize myself with that notion for a while. Today, however, every bodily function in me has been made normal. I now weigh 48 kilograms (about 106 pounds) and look really pretty.
I am more thankful, however, because my heart has also turned beautiful through this experience. During the time I was suffering from anorexia, I was overly sensitive and quick to become angry. As I am so gentle and meek nowadays, people jokingly say that I could possibly not be the same person I had been. My friends and I are close once again. All my teachers are proud to have me in their classes and I am studying diligently.
I give all thanks and glory to God and Our Lord and I would also like to express my heartfelt gratitude to Senior Pastor Rev. Dr. Jaerock Lee for his prayer.
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