With the Lord's Love I Overcame My Weary Life!
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 16819 |
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March 18, 2012 |
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Deaconess Kyungsook Kim (Female Member, Eastern Gwangju Manmin Church)
In October 2003, Deacon Youngdeuk Seo and I got married rather late in life. I dreamed of a sweet marital life but the reality was totally different. I tried hard to serve my parents-in-law but I often had conflicts with my mother-in-law due to the differences in our personalities and the generation gap. The anxiety, emotional and mental stress was building up. My husband knew this but he was not able to help me.
Suffering from Mother-in-law and Daughter-in-law Relationship Resulted in Depression
In March, 2005, as the first daughter-in-law, I gave birth to male twins, but my mother-in-law still didn't seem to like it. My heart was hurt. I felt weary thinking that it was difficult trying to live according to her will.
'Why should I live like this? Why should I have any interest in living like this? I am really lonely. Maybe I should consider divorce.' I lapsed into such thoughts more and more.
I was so severely depressed that I couldn't sleep at all. I even had nightmares. In my nightmares I became paralyzed. I sometimes saw a demon. Looking back upon that time now, I think I suffered from such things because I hadn't practiced goodness. The idol-worship of my parents also had influenced me as well.
To make the matters worse, I came to have pain in my back and left leg. The pain was caused by aftereffects of childbirth. In the early 2009, I underwent an MRI scan. The result showed that I had spinal stenosis and herniated lumbar discs. But I couldn't afford to get an operation because I had to take care of my twins. I suffered from severe depression and at that time I just wanted to die.
I Received the Fire of the Spirit during the Handkerchief Healing Meeting
One day in October 2009, the Lord of love came to me. Deaconess Jinkyung Cheong who tried to evangelize me came to my mind all of sudden. She had often showed me Manmin Central Church's website and the pictures of those who were healed of atopic dermatitis by Dr. Jaerock Lee's prayer.
She guided me to Eastern Gwangju Manmin Church. I shed tears as soon as I had a seat in the sanctuary. My makeup ran with mingled tears. Afterwards, Pastor Yeonok Cheong visited my home and we had a family service together. She prayed for me with the handkerchief (Acts 19:11-12). After the prayer I was freed a lot from nightmares and the depression.
Two months after I started to attend the church, I attended the Handkerchief Healing Meeting with Pastor Heesun Lee, the General Guidance Pastor of Men's and Women's Missions, Korea. She read my heart in the fullness of the Holy Spirit and prayed for what I needed. I felt the love of God who knew my heart and consoled me. Tears kept flowing down my face.
I repented that I had befriended the world before I believed in God. I felt the fire of the Spirit come into my head and my body got hot and I sweated.
That night an amazing work took place. I slept well and felt refreshed when I woke up in the morning. The following day, I also felt something coming out of my leg. It was the moment when my spinal stenosis and herniated lumbar discs were healed. Afterwards, I was able to work out as I wanted and there was no discomfort in living my life. Of course, depression, insomnia, and the nightmares had also gone completely. Hallelujah!
My Family was Evangelized and Happiness Came to Me
What's more grateful is that my broken heart was healed and changed into a new heart. Through the messages in the church I came to know the goodness of Ruth who fulfilled her duty toward her mother-in-law and I realized what God-pleasing peace, service, and love really are. I also found the ill-feelings, hatred, and irritation that filled me. I came to admit that all the conflicts between my mother-in-law and me were caused by me. I thoroughly repented rending my heart. I also gave the prayer of repentance for my arrogance in ignoring my husband.
I came to be changed with fasting and prayer. My mother-in-law and husband also have peace after I served them with a renewed heart. My mother, who had attended the Buddhist temple, also came to our church after listening to my testimony. I am so happy receiving the blessing of family evangelization.
I often shed tears of thanks thinking of God's grace. He healed me both in spirit and body and allowed for my family to have peace. He even let me have hope for New Jerusalem. I give all thanks and glory to our Father who has given me such great blessings.
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