Hoping to Become an Organist Who Heals Many People in Spirit and Flesh
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 16761 |
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October 17, 2010 |
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 Deaconess Sunja Kim
(Canaan Missioin, Parish 1-5)
In 1982, when Manmin Church was founded, I saw my father completely healed through the prayer of Pastor Jaerock Lee. Currently my father, Pastor Youngsuk Kim, is serving the church as the General Guidance Teacher of Paul's Mission. While attending the worship service, I was so touched to see pianists and other players offering beautiful performances to God the Father, so I came to harbor a dream to become a pianist who glorifies God. At 9, I began learning to play the piano, but at 12 I had to give it up because of my family's financial situation. Five years later, when I was 17 years old, I was able to practice playing the piano again by the grace of God. One day one of my seniors at my high school recommended to me that I learn to play the organ. From that time I possessed a new dream of becoming an organist, and 2 years later in 1997, I entered the Seoul Theological University, the School of Church Music, and majored in the organ.
Began Having Organ Recitals by the Grace of God in the Midst of the Refinements of Faith
In 2001, I graduated and began playing the organ during the worship services of my church, Manmin Central Church. I continually felt I had to improve my skills because there was a limitation in my personal practice. I wanted to study and learn, but the actual situations did not allow me to do it. In September of 2007, my former professor at the university contacted me and I was given a good chance to learn the organ from him.
Three months later, in December of 2007, I held a pipe organ recital for the first time, and during the following 3 years I had organ recitals every year. In preparation for the concerts and recitals, thorough practice and unceasing training always followed prayer. As for me, I found myself practicing the organ as much as I saw fit and the same manner of life was found in my life of faith. My professor advised me saying, "While you are playing the organ, you are not listening to what the music is saying and instead you are trying to make the music follow your own thoughts."
I repented and came to harbor even whatever little words he taught me, and to practice much more attentively. And I began trying my best to interpret exact meanings of each music piece and practiced organ performing techniques. Music scores then looked different to me and I felt my music abilities improving.
Sometimes I wanted to rest and give it up, but I endeavored renewing my heart by prayer and made all efforts until I had the assurance of my very best. I received Senior Pastor's prayer in season and reminded myself of the purpose of playing the organ. My offering the performances worthy of glorification of God required me to have as much prayer, love and patience. As the result of such patient trainings, I had recitals and I grew up in spirit.
My Faith Renewed, My Heart Filled with the Lord's Love
In August of 2010, in preparation for the trip to Europe for more study, God allowed for me to look back at my past life and thoroughly repent of my wrongdoings and errors. Among other things I repented with many tears and rending heart that I did not embrace my younger brother during our childhood; that I had not cultivated my heart by the Words of God I have heard for such a long time; that I had not prayed for my parents. I felt excruciatingly deep within my heart the love of my Savior Jesus who died on the cross for me—such a sinner that I couldn't see the cross without tears and I couldn't look at the Senior Pastor without shedding tears.
I felt so sorry before God that I had not served little children and not given heartfelt thanks to God while I felt under trials. The grace of God for my salvation was so great that I couldn't endure with anything else. Later I noticed all I can do to repay His grace is cast away every form of evil, and since afterwards, I did my best to offer prayer and praise with my heart and fasted as many times as possible whenever my sins and sin natures were discovered. On July 17, I received Dr. Jaerock Lee's prayer for my trip to Europe and then prepared everything for it successfully.
 Desiring to Renew As Many Souls through the Performance
The 13-day music journey in the four European countries—Austria, Italy, Slovenia and Germany I had from August 5 through 17 was a good chance for me to play the pipe-organ in Europe, the hometown of music and study the footprints of many historically famous musicians. Looking at the clear and blue sky, white and fluffy clouds, beautiful lakes, trees and flowers, elegant and praiseworthy buildings and palaces, great artworks, and magnificent pipe organs in cathedrals, my hope for the City of New Jerusalem became strong and determined to surely enter New Jerusalem.
The most memorable thing to me during the 13-day journey and study was the night sky I saw from the window of an upper room of the tallest house in Austria. The beautiful scenery of the sky and the Alps was gorgeously displayed. A great multitude of shining stars in various sizes and colors seemed to be falling down upon me. I felt I was alone in the vast universe and the sublimity and magnificence of it was beyond description. I was amazed at the wonder of the universe, and I sang the song "How Great Thou Art" without knowing. I looked at that night sky for more than an hour to put the beauty and God's love in my heart, and it very fortunate that I saw stars move and shooting stars.
When I played the organ at the Maribor Cathedral in Slovenia, the cathedral's organist and church workers came to me and said it was such a wonderful performance, and asked me to visit there and play the organ once again. They testified that when they heard my performance with prayerful heart, their burdens and problems in heart had been resolved. I was encouraged at their words and experienced God's work that heals the souls of their broken heart through the fragrance of performance and music that are pleasing to God.
After completing the 13-day study journey on the way back home on the plane, I saw a clear circular rainbow surrounding the shadow of the plane and rejoiced with indescribable joy. I can never explain the touching emotion of the promise of the Lord's being with me through the rainbow.
I am still a person with deficiency and not an excellent player. But I am increasingly realizing the love of God the Father, the Lord Jesus Christ and Senior Pastor and believe the way to pay back for the love is to try my best up to the point of sanctifying my heart with the truth and offering God-pleasing performance and music to God. I hope to share this great love given freely with as many souls as I will be able. I give all thanks and glory to God and the Lord Jesus Christ and I send my heartfelt thanks to Senior Pastor Dr. Jaerock Lee.
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